


How to Raise your Bitty

by Little_Guy



Series: How to raise your bitty [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bittybones (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Bitty Slim, Control Issues, Families of Choice, Gen, Gender non conforming character, Implied Past Abuse, LV, Platonic Relationships, Razz isn't an asshole?, Swapfell Papyrus (Undertale), Swapfell Sans (Undertale), Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), he learns how to be better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23364652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Guy/pseuds/Little_Guy
Summary: It’d be fun, they said. Cathartic they said. Something to do so you Could Get Used To The World Razz, You Don’t Have To Be Alone....As much as he hated to admit it (and never, ever to their faces, it was) taking care of the… puppy, was cathartic in a way even for one as weary as he.
Relationships: Papyrus & Sans (Undertale)
Series: How to raise your bitty [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680895
Comments: 12
Kudos: 48





	How to Raise your Bitty

**Author's Note:**

> or: Razz learns how to chill
> 
> Well. I'm pretty sure fluff isnt really thought of when it comes to Razz and Slim, but uh i usually say fuck it to that kind of stuff. So in a way here's my version of them i guess, and mostly fluff i might continue this for my own fun at somepoint i'm not too sure. hope you enjoy i guess if anyone in this fandom is till actually alive

It was stupid. Too soft, not defended by any traps, no japes, no  _ sentry. _ This universe was so laissez faire in how it was run— no one cared for it like he had cared for his home— it’s too...lazy in its affairs.

A monster as malicious and unstoppable as he should be able to take anything and everything he  _ wanted  _ (deserved; his mind whispers, thoughts heavy, dark.  _ You worked so hard, what is a tiny insignificant world in the palm of your hand, but an earned spoil?)  _ and yet. Yet here he is scowl etched onto his face as his sockets stare down a build that the  _ others _ ,  ~~ the whelps, the useless, the weak ~~ , the other hims and the counterpart he doesn't have, wasn’t graced with, had led him to. Then absconded as soon as they arrived, the cowards!

What an unfair advantage. They each had cannon fodder while he was here to deal with life alone. He truly was the superior commander amongst the pitiful ranks. Yet he’d been coaxed here like some  _ animal,  _ as if he was a mongrel that couldn’t keep his LV in check if he didn’t have something to keep him occupied, as if he  _ needed  _ something to keep his hands from dusting the entire place. It was a pitiful universe, absolutely nothing to command or fight, nothing to bend to his will so he’d feel a thrill; he missed the ravaged land of his universe.

Alas, the fools hadn’t yet found a away to return each of them to their proper places and he had to play… nice as the laziest fucking skeleon said it. Him, the Captain of the Royal Guard had to play nice? Hah! As if he in all his magnificence couldn’t out do them all. He’d even let the slander of his nickname (Razz, they’d dared to dub him, no longer the original as if the weak monsters from the universe deserved to keep their names) pass as long as they understood his superiority over them. 

But, he would force their allegiance another day, it would be idiotic to attack this early in the game. Best to understand the opponent (Even if they were inferior versions of his amazing self) before making a mistake. So. Here he found himself, in front of… what could only be described as a less gaudy trading ring. That’s all it could be these things, (Humans, scum, how  _ dare  _ they put their throne forsaken hands on these monsters and  _ sell  _ them), handing out tiny monsters as if they were something prized, as if Razz himself hadn’t spent fucking years dusting any and all monster rings he’d found in his own universe. And now? Now he was supposed to partake in the disgusting transaction.

Well. While he was not a kind monster, even Razz could give a lesser monster some semblance of mercy in comparison to these places and its disgusting handlers. The building plan, red brick, no cracks, the lighting soft (as if it would hide their transgressions against monsterkind), its sign reading:  _ Carpals to Metatarsals.  _ A disdainful sight if Razz had ever seen one. A shame that he’d be freeing its captives to help burn the place down. Ah, well, everything in due time.

With the click of his heels against the concrete Razz shoulders his way into the building, displaying as much of his intent as he dares, not here to dust any of the far weaker monsters for once (There’s no need here, he’s certain. Each and everyone of these monsters had clearly had the will to fight beaten out of them somehow) as he settles his sockets on trash that ran this building. A  _ Carol  _ by the name from their tag. After all even  _ he  _ was a monster with some respect for presentation, even if so many of them weren’t worth the courtesy from their transgressions.

“EVENING,” It’s a growl, stiff and sharp as he glowers at the employee satisfied in the way they rattle where they stand. It’s only fair. Humans had done so much to them why shouldn’t he be allowed to put them in place even if he couldn’t physically harm them? “I ASSUME YOU ARE THE… DETAINER OF THIS  _ FINE  _ ESTABLISHMENT.” It isn’t a question; both he and the human are very aware of the transgressions going on in this building and Razz would delight in burning it into the ground if he could.

To give them credit where it’s due the human doesn’t even flinch, a brittle smile curling onto their face. “Why yes, I’m miss Carol it’s a pleasure to meet you dearie—” by the throne he’s certain  _ miss Carol  _ would be better off in the next few moments not treating him like any old drab fool she no doubt swindled before— “It’s isn’t everyday a skeleton monster comes to look at our little dears.” She even tithers as if this is some meeting over tea and scones. “They’re very easy to take care of though we do have to give you a talking to as is standard for first time owners.”

He gives a stiff nod feeling his joints physically strain as he keeps himself in check and wills away the Blaster that wants to form and bust the woman like a maggot for speaking to him so familiarly. “A… SECOND IN COMMAND WOULD BE ACCEPTABLE,” is what he settles on, no need to make the enemy suspicious of any danger to her Ring. Razz would ever so slowly dismantle the building as he saw fit once he took the relocation of the tiny monsters into his own hands. But, first, the perfect second in command, what Captain could he be without a proper,  _ intelligent  _ replacement guard. Bratty and Catty had after all been dismissed via Queen Toriel’s Decree. “SOMET- _ ONE _ DOCILE WOULD SUFFICE, IF YOU HAVE SUCH A STOCK.”

Clearly she does. All the creatures here looked as if they’d follow an order to dust themselves if ordered. Broken. Each and every one of them it seemed. Perhaps the  _ other hims  _ had some type of intelligence he’d once ignored, at least he could mold one of the monsters to be the perfect guardsman if nothing else. Nodding to himself at the thought Razz follows behind the idiotic curator hands clasped behind his back to seem as unthreatening as possible; not even  _ he  _ would tempt Queen Toriel’s strict policies toward the humans out in the open. What a scandal that would be and The Great and Malicious Sans did not do scandals.

Carol gives him another (false) smile leading him to the far left corner of the store. The lights here are dimmer in comparison to the rest of the store, as if she’s hiding something. As if Razz couldn’t form something broken into something  _ magnificent _ the joke is on the curator then if she believes that. “These dearies are a bit… sensitive in comparison to the rest of bitties—” as she talks Razz glances at the… those are houses. Doll houses. What the fuck. She wasn’t just keeping the monsters captive she was  _ accustoming  _ them to this insignificant existence. Hmph, not if the Terrible and Capable Sans had anything to do with it, he  _ would  _ return the tiny monster to some resemblance of normality once they were away from the witches shop. “I’m certain that you’d like out first Slim, dear! Why he’s rather docile, exactly as you said, perhaps a bit quieter than our others but he’s unique in his own sweet way.”

She waves her hand gently, as if trying not to startle this ‘slim’ and finally Razz notices what exactly the witch is gesturing to. It is small. Miniscule even possibly the size of Razz’s palm if even that—it (because Razz truly doubted that this Carol did care about how a monster may present themself) twitches as if struck by his gaze pulling its small coat tight around its body. Eyeing the human woman beside him, Razz relaxes his parade rest carefully, even for him, before placing a phalange in front of the tiny thing. “CADET.”

It startles again, looking between himself and the witch before tentatively reaching out for it their much smaller hand grasping it weakly (Scars. Plenty of them mar the small skeleton’s bones. Strike one) eyelights darting around its home as if they want nothing more than to hide away forever. Razz doesn’t doubt that they really do, they are standing before his greatness after all. “YOUR NAME CADET.”

Its jaw hinges, unhinges, and audible clack. Then the rattling of bones (the uneasy stench of fear almost overwhelming from such a tiny creature. Strike Two) as a ragged force-drawn intent of their soul allows them to speak, “s-slim, i—” their jaw clamps shut again fidgeting. It would take more time, it seemed to actually do right by this monster he was Captain of the Royal Guard for a reason and his universe or not it was Sans’ duty to help any monster from the hands of a human. Especially now when he had to  _ behave. _

He nods keeping his eyelight trained on the human even as he addresses the tiny skeleton. “WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEAVE?” Razz has never been one for gentleness, it wasn’t allowed in his universe except in rare circumstances, but with such a small, harmless thing it couldn’t do anything but help to tread lightly.

The skeleton’s rattling gets louder even as muffled as it is under their fur coat and that when he hears the jingling (Strike Three. Collared as a pet without proper care) as they rapidly nod their head eyelights wide and shifty all along the room. “WELL THEN  _ MISS CAROL  _ I WILL BE CHOOSING THIS SLIM OF YOURS TO JOIN ME. DO TELL WHAT IS REQUIRED OF ME.” He drawls it out letting the tinier skeleton hold onto it as a life line. They’ll be fixing Slim’s appearance and items as soon as they leave. Perhaps this will be a good pet project until he can return home.

Carol beams her smile just a tad strained as she looks at Slim. “W-well Slim is a bit more care focused than some of the other bitties… his creation had a few issues.” He can’t help but narrow his brow bones, a scowl twisting on his skull— really the woman should stop implying that Slim was defective.  _ He  _ would be the judge of that— “You see. Most of the Bitties are… imbued with kind magic, green I believe? Slim has… a unique case of magic due to an older establishment that had him, and it isn’t that i don’t believe you would be a wonderful owner, but Slim needs a nice hand, he’s skittish.”

The flinch of the smaller skeleton seals the deal. It would do the both of them good to get out of here  _ and  _ give Razz something to focus on outside of some of his lost duties. “I AM POSSIBLY THE MOST WELL FIT SKELETON ANYONE COULD ASK FOR. I WILL BE TAKING SLIM IF YOU COULD SPEED UP THE PROCESS,  _ MISS CAROL.” _

With that he pours his intent, intimidation had always been a specialty even despite his size (And the way the small skeleton presses closer to his hand oddly makes his soul purr. Something to figure out later) and the curator hurries to ring him up, give him a pamphlet, a rather sad ‘talking too’ and Slim’s Home.

If Razz has anything to say about it all the small skeleton will be dressed properly for their new role as his Second in Command.

* * *

Razz huffs as he carries the…  _ bitties  _ items the actual skeleton balanced precariously on his scarf hand twisted tightly. “ALRIGHT RUNT, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO GO BY. I’M NOT LETTING ANY HUMAN DECIDE ANYTHING FOR YOU SO SPEAK UP NOW OR HOLD YOUR TONGUE.” It’s still quieter than his usual, something he’s sure the smaller skeleton appreciates and why shouldn’t he? The Great Captain is lowering himself and it should and will be appreciated or punishment will be dealt out. At least when he thinks of a fitting one.

The skeleton squirms, his phalanges clutching tightly at the cloth on Razz’s neck as if they’re debating whether he actually wants an answer. It’s almost enough to make him snarl just to get a quicker answer before a hesitant answer meets him, “i like slim...if, if that’s still alright…”

Razz hums turning it over. As far as names go it isn’t terrible, room for improvement sure, but not terrible. “AND THE HUMAN? WAS SHE RIGHT DO YOU PREFER MASCULINE PRESENTATION?”

Slim squirms again pressing his skull into the fluff of his jacket (Razz was happy to note that, that at least was well taken care of. It is a start for...caring for Slim) and he’s starting to understand that this might be a calming motion, for what he’s still not certain, but he’s supposed to learn how to be kind. The easiest way is to run headlong, so he waits. The clack of his shoes seems to help in some odd way he’s not aware of yet.

“i,” Slim looks up at him, an air of fear and weariness still hanging overhead. At least the skeleton is smart around a monster with high LV. “i… i haven’t thought about it. they— the humans just. assume? but i do like using him.”

It sounds uncertain, but Razz nods anyway. It’s very typical. Of course many humans are trying to integrate their own understanding that presentation isn’t simply one thing or another, but can be a spectrum and even complex. He decides right then and there that he’ll have to teach Slim that things can be different for him if he wants. “THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE. WE WILL DISCUSS THINGS AGAIN AT A LATER DATE. FOR NOW, SOME RULES BEFORE WE RETURN TO MY ABODE.”

Slim’s grip loosens just a tad his spine straightening, and that’s good, he knows when to sit straight at least. “oh, of, of course, um.” He looks up at Razz imploringly, lost for a title, a heavy cloud of confusion and hesitation wafting from his magic.

“CAPTAIN, OR M’LORD. BOTH WOULD SUFFICE SOMEONE OF MY STATUS.”

“cap...captain?” it’s hesitant as all things with Slim seems to be so Razz gives him a nod, an attempt at a smile at the effort (It must have failed if Slim’s confused look is anything to go by). “are, are you royalty captain?”

He can’t help but laugh pleasantly at the question, his chest puffing up at how his magnificence is picked up on. “NOT ROYALTY, CADET, BUT I AM A POWERFUL MONSTER, A BOSS MONSTER IF YOU WILL! THE POWER TO DUST ANYTHING WITH THE FLICK OF A WRIST IF I SO DESIRE.”

Oh. perhaps that might not have been the right thing to say to such a rattled monster? With a glance at the small skeleton on his shoulder Razz feels his chest with a surprising amount of pride at the look Slim is giving him. His eye sockets are wide, the eyelights bright and open in their awe. Oh this arrangement will certainly work out! Only the smartest of monsters would understand his glory so quickly!

“wow captain im sure none of the other monsters would mess with you!” It’s the first bit of enthusiasm that’s come from Slim and for some reason he can’t help but savor it. (He even wonders, maybe this is what—  ~~ family is like ~~ — a proper subordinate is like).

“WELL YOU WOULD CERTAINLY BE CORRECT IN THAT ASSUMPTION,” He says haughtily adjusting Slim’s position on his shoulder so that the skeleton can see more of the street as they get closer to home. “I AM THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE SANS! NONE WOULD DARE TO DEFY ME, AND SOON YOU AS WE GET EVERYTHING READY. YOU’RE MY SECOND IN COMMAND NOW SLIM, YOU MUST BE PREPARED AT ALL COSTS!”

Slim, slouches a bit his sockets eyeing the world warily before he gives a small smile, shy Razz would even call it; proud even his mind whispers. “i, uh, i’ve been told ‘m a bit of a lazy bones captain but i’ll do my best to repay you.”

“OF COURSE! IT IS ONLY BEFITTING OF A NEW MEMBER OF THE GUARD. THERE WILL BE NO LAZINESS HOWEVER AND PUNISHMENT WILL BE DELIVERED SWIFTLY!”

For a moment he’s certain he’s said the wrong thing. All signs pointed to some kind of negative experiences for the skeleton and he’s certain he’s taken a step back rather than forward in his quest to assimilate in this new world. 

Then. 

Slim is laughing, a soft quiet sound that ruffles at the ends of Razz’s scarf and it’s quite enjoyable actually. In its odd little way to see the skeleton slowly start to loosen up.

“guess i’ll be working at the graveyard swift huh, captain?”

He desperately wants to hide his groan into his hands, but that’s a sign of weakness and Razz refuses to break any of those rules. He’ll just have to find a different way to combat the throne forsaken habit.

“i, uh, really rattled you there didn’t i captain,” The little shit was egging him on. Eyelight flickering Razz sighs.

“SLIM.”

The skeleton straightens out his snickering quieting quickly, “Ye-yeah, captain?” It’s hesitant again… maybe just once he can allow it.

“MAKE SURE NOT TO TAKE THIS  _ SHIFT  _ HORSE IN THE MOUTH, HMM.”

It earns another quiet wheezy laugh from Slim as the skeleton practically shakes trying to hold it in. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to let this behavior fly every once and awhile.

“LOOK UP SLIM,” He says as gently as he can, rolling his shoulder to get the other to stop laughing even if it is rather pleasant for someone to laugh around him instead of being worried as they usually are. “THIS IS YOUR NEW ABODE. I,” He starts lifting the… doll house… “WILL BE MAKING A FEW CHANGES TO THIS VIA YOUR SPECIFICATIONS. I WILL NOT HAVE AN IMPROPER SENTRY!”

He gets a playful salute as Slim finally eases his head out of his coat. “aye, aye captain!”

* * *

Working on the home, or as Slim referred to it  _ a bone shed if you will  _ is to put it simply a cathartic task. Working as a bouncer is fun of course, a way to get violent if needed but not be considered out of hand is wonderful, a nice break from the normal monotony of having to play nice every second of the day. This though.

This is cathartic in a different way. Razz has always liked to work with his hands, and has been cleaning his bone weapons and armor since he was old enough to manifest or make either. This is no different really, a bit more involved with creativity and gentle movement from pattern he (begrudgingly) convinced the closests skeleton to himself (Edge, funnily enough despite Razz not having a brother. Not really any way) to teach him how to sew under the pretense that he had gotten tired of paying others to do the fixing of his armor.

Slim’s house is in a few words coming together. It has been dismantled except for the few things Slim had really liked (Currently a stuffed little bean bag he’s lazing about on watching Razz work) while everything else is either going to be remade entirely, or given a new color. Art was never his forte, but as the time passed of the two of them living together Razz learned that it  _ is one  _ that Slim has.

“YOU WANT… PAW PRINTS ON THE PILLOW?” He asks incredulously, staring at the tiny little drawings he’d asked Slim to come up with when the small skeleton finally felt comfortable enough in the house. It had been an odd week and a half up to that point. And difficult. Very difficult to hide him.

“yes, captain!” He’d come out of his shell a bit finally. Still quiet but now he’s enthusiastic in a way Razz hadn’t really expected him to be, very much like a puppy, though Razz would never say that aloud.

“WELL… ALRIGHT IF YOU’RE CERTAIN, CADET,” He’s lucky he doesn’t bleed or all this sticking would’ve filled him with bleeding holes ages ago. This really was more Edge’s specialty than his...but by the throne he’d never ask for the help. The Great and Malicious Sans could do this on his own!

Slim inches closer still tucked into his little coat an inquisitive air about him as he watches the repetitive action of Razz  _ attempting  _ to sew something new. “is there anythin’ else i can do to help captain?”

He hums focusing on not fucking stabbing his finger again as his mind whirls on something for Slim to do. That is also something he’s picked up on the bit of time they’ve lived together— Slim tends to get nervous if he can’t help, a nervous tick he assumed, though after the first scare of finding Slim scratching at his bones out of sheer nerves Razz figured anything, even small tasks would be best to help the skeleton grounded. “WHY DON’T YOU SKETCH OUT IDEAS FOR CLOTHING? I MAY NOT BE AS PROFICIENT IN THAT SKILL SET BUT I AM CERTAIN THAT SUCH A SIMPLE TASK CANNOT BE TOO DIFFICULT FOR MY GREATNESS TO MASTER.”

Slim gives another salute before hurrying over to the rather small sheets of paper and pencil that Razz had ordered for him some time ago. The little Skeleton while quite lazy most of the time could do a lot when he put his mind to it, a positive trait to have; Razz would not settle for anything less.

Now. The House.

Right now it's stripped down to its bare bones, a barren structure waiting for Razz and Slim to patch it up and make it fit for a guardsman. Some things are certain to be included such as soft fabric, an indulgence Razz is willing to provide as his tiny companion became a rather soothing fixture to have to return to as the days became long and slow. Not to mention it would help make things more  _ Slim’s  _ than a simple storehouse. It would be unique. Razz would make sure of it.

He might not be the best at home design settling for functionality over comfort, but this project would be given his best effort and nothing less! If Slim approached him for something he would get it, it was no skin off his bones to do so, and if he was being honest this domesticity was rather enjoyable.

“captain!” He lifts his head, placing the finished pillow next to the bean bag bed, before looking toward his tiny companion with a quirk of his brow. What had the skeleton created this time? Slim speeds up dragging not a piece of paper, but one of the stray monster magazines with a surprising amount of effort from the little guy. For a skeleton so small he was determined when he actually wanted to do something, a suburb little  ~~brother~~ soldier.

He inclines his head scanning the pages that Slim had dragged before him. It was a fashion magazine, one from the first few months he’d found himself here with the people from his underground… the  _ original  _ sans had dropped it along goading him ( _ why don’t you flip through find something a little more  _ brazzy) into an attempt of changing his clothes— which were very comfortable thank you very much.

This is that exact magazine, but Razz had never bothered looking through it, far too soft for his taste. But. Slim looked excited… far more excited than he had any other time during his stay, which is probably to be expected. It has only been a little over a  _ week  _ there’ll no doubt be more instances of Slim being excited, but as he decided earlier there was nothing wrong with indulging the smaller skeleton. Well, as long as he didn’t start an uprising against him  _ that  _ would not be entertained in the slightest.

The clothing is… still soft to put it lightly. Though looking closer much of it  _ is  _ still like Slim’s current wear— large, obscuring, soft looking material. He approves, the bulk can help hide vulnerable areas, especially his bones.

“ANYTHING SPECIFIC?” He keeps his eyelight trained on Slim’s face. Full honesty about things the skeleton wanted was slow going, but a skeleton as observant as he caught each and every twitch or gleam of excitement on  ~~ the Puppy’s ~~ Slim’s skull. Another bulky jacket, expected, but… the skirt well. It’s new, Razz is certain he can work something out. “WHAT ABOUT NECKWEAR CADET?” 

It’s something Razz would have to imbue with his magic eventually, not willing to take any chances with the tiny skeleton— things on peace are going steady but Razz is nothing but well prepared. At least this way Slim will have something he picked out himself if he wanted to before Razz marked him under his protection. A barbaric practice to some certainly, but to monsters like him who came from a kill or be killed universe this was at times the only way to keep others safe for a time. He’d debated on striped shirts for a time, but if any one on the off chance  _ checked  _ Slim then that was as good as gone.

Slim hesitates for just a moment before dragging over a second magazine, this one razz had (reluctantly) bought after Blue (a  _ second  _ Sans far more forgiving than himself) had weedled out that  _ Yes You Insufferable Runt I Did go There And No I Will Not Show You!  _ And that’s how he ended up with the atrocious thing. But, if there was really something Slim wanted out of it, Razz would allow it just this once. “maybe one of these if that is alright captain?”

At first glance he nearly doubles over losing his composure, and then rights himself when he realizes that is  _ definitely not what he thought it was, thank the throne.  _ It’s a choker. Deep black, spikes all around except for the perfectly molded rose in the centre, a rather simple item he was to be honest, but it would work nonetheless. 

“YOU’RE CERTAIN?”

Slim nods, fingers wrinkling the page as he resists the urge to scratch at his bones out of nervousness (A rather slow going task, but his progress has been good is Razz says so himself), with a hum, Razz carefully pets the skeleton’s cranium with a sharp claw quite pleased with the soft purr Slim lets out (and the settling of his usually turbulent soul. Hmm, perhaps some of the less violent scientists were onto something when they recommended less violent hobbies?).

He hides his hestiance as best he can still full of unease when it comes to why these bitty creatures were really made… but his own is calming… so maybe this is okay? Of course he still intends to raze any place to the ground that is found mistreating any monsters in his universe or not. “THEM I WILL PLACE AN ORDER LATER IN THE DAY. WE WILL FINISH A FEW MORE THINGS FOR THE DAY AND THEN WE WILL MAKE DINNER.”

“course cap’ain!” Oh by the throne. Maybe this is what the  _ others  _ meant when they toddled on and on about their sibling? His soul throbs at the open enthusiasm, when was the last someone had looked at him so openly? No fear in their gaze, just unadulterated happiness?

This collaring really would do much to ease his mind when Razz finally worked up the nerve to let the tiny skeleton join him for more than a miniscule amount at a time… though he still wasn’t keen on anyone seeing his cadet quite yet. Not until their situation had been perfected and Slim was less skittish around others who weren’t his malicious self.

He nods in acknowledgement. “GRAB THE BED SLIM, YOU HAVE ENOUGH TO START PLACING THINGS AS YOU LIKE. WE HAVE EARLY TRAINING IN THE MORNING SO NO RUNNING OFF AFTER DINNER.” It’s one of their few rules as Slim got accustomed to everything— no exploring the house after dinner. Razz left late and returned early, unable to make sure the tiny skeleton didn’t get dusted in his search of the house for anything and everything he wasn’t nervous around.

Slim just nods hopping onto Razz’s hand when the larger skeleton finishes up one tiny pillow, before they make their way into the kitchen. Their setup, or rather Razz’s setup is quite different now before it was just him sized utensils though now his counter is home to Slim sized utensils as well. He refuses to allow Slim to go without some basic skills. What kind of Captain would he be if his fellow guardsman couldn’t even accomplish to make a meal for himself?

It was an odd transition of course. Too used to having the entire space to himself, not remembering that a small skeleton was moving around on the counter to watch him cook, attempting to replicate it without actual utensils until he bought the other skeleton their own things to practice. Since then Razz would even say that meal prepping and dinner making was somehow  _ more  _ enjoyable than it was when he was living alone, it isn’t every day that someone stares at his, admittedly very basic, cooking skills and only sees something amazing.

(He’d never admit that having a second mouth to feed made him practice any more. He wasn’t trying to poison  ~~ the puppy  ~~ Slim after all).

“JUST LIKE THAT SLIM. A GENTLE FLIP TO WARM BOTH SIDES, NO NO, EASIER FLIPS,” He coaches, using blue magic to help steady the flying chicken when his companion gets a bit too excited.

“sorry cap’in guess it just wanted to leave the roost one last time,” A quiet snicker and Razz really does try to hide his fond smile behind the uses of spices and an elaborate show of magic. The one flaw his companion has— a terrible interest in puns like his inferior others; well, he’s better than them at least. So he can let it slide. Just this once (at least that’s what he tells himself). “are we gonna work on magic again when you get back?”

He finishes up his chicken keeping an eye on Slim’s much, much smaller pan in case he gets too wily with it. Only breaking contact when he pours a tiny, bit of that disgusting sauce his companion seemed to fall in love with on the side of his plate. “PERHAPS. I WILL TAKE IT BY THE DAY. SOME THINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO COME IN TOMORROW, WE MAY JUST CATALOG THAT WHEN I GET BACK.”

“course cap’in i’ll make sure not to snoop like you said, your puzzles will do all the work!” What a lazy bones (Even if the praise to his puzzles makes him just the tiniest but proud), well he’ll just have to work Slim extra hard another day.

“A RULE FOR TOMORROW IS TO STAY HIDDEN. A DRILL IF YOU WILL,” Slim looks up at him in interest though the uneasy twist to his magic makes him hurry up his explanation. “THERE WILL BE NO ENEMIES, I JUST WANT TO GAUGE HOW WELL YOU CAN HIDE IF YOU NEED TO ONE DAY.”

It’s quiet for a moment after that and flicking his gaze over to Slim, he catches a brief scratch at some bones before Slim catches himself, choosing to instead fiddle with the tiny rubber wristlet Razz had bought him as a deterrent (Progress. Something deserving of a reward, Razz would bring him something back, maybe a sweet? He hadn’t seen if Slim liked anything sweet yet), “uh cap’in… you… you’d make sure no intruder really got away with nothin’ right? i’d make sure they didn’t, i respect ya too much not to try but, you’d make sure right?”

He settles his singular eyelight on Slim, a wide serrated grin making it’s way on his face. “I TAKE SUCH SLIGHTS SERIOUSLY. NONE CAN ESCAPE MY CLAWS WHEN THEY GO AFTER WHAT’S MINE AND THAT INCLUDES YOU NOW CADET. IF THEY ENTERED OUR SPACE I CAN GUARANTEE THEY NEVER WOULD AGAIN.”

His companion looks more at ease with that and something warm settles in his soul as Slim slumps next to him to eat. Skittish. Slim had been so skittish, to know he trusted Razz that much was a sign of trust and trust was difficult to earn, even harder to keep. He knows, deep down in his own war torn chest and dust laden soul that he’d keep the trust placed in him as long as he could.

Razz protects what’s his. 

* * *

Slim’s choker had finally arrived. Just as small as his companion, though perhaps a bit softer looking than him, Razz thinks it’s perfect.

He’d learned rather early that these custom made chokers took much longer than most due to the precise handling and small size— it had essentially led to another month and so passing as they waited. Razz had gotten to learn quite a bit more about his companion. 

The largest being that for such a tiny body Slim could be quite ferocious when he wanted to be, and what an amusing event it had been, he still finds himself snickering to himself when he thinks back on it all. Edge and his whelp had shown up unannounced on one of his (blessed) days off when Red had pushed too many buttons:

“Th’ fuck’s with th’ doll asshat?” It had been fine of course, if tense with the mongrel around. Then the whelp had to go and  _ grab  _ Slim as if he was something to be touched without permission (The snot nosed fuckin’ mongrel  _ never  _ had manners) and of course Edge, the  _ brother with some actual common sense  _ had attempted to rectify the situation with a succinct  _ Put The Thing Down Whelp  _ which was still wrong. Slim wasn’t a  _ thing; he _ was Razz’s  charge  second in command.

But. Even with the wonderful order Razz hadn’t even had the time to retaliate against the whelp that wasn’t  _ holding Slim right.  _ He didn’t need to. Slim had latched onto Red’s finger and dug in with gusto marrow flowing from the bite.

“Fuckin’ lemme go you runt!” A snarl had etched onto his larger counterpart as he attempted to dredge Slim off his hand (Razz had taught him well. He’d aimed to simply get free rather than cause any real lasting damage), “Th’ fuck s’wrong with it, get the damn  _ dog  _ offa me.”

Slim had actually growled unlatching from Red’s thumb to scramble up onto his skull gold tooth gleaming as he tried to bite at Red’s nose bridge, “‘m not a fuckin’ dog—” Ah, well. That would have to be worked on, Red was already becoming a bad influence for Slim. “you don’t just grab people furball!”

Perhaps it would be good for Slim to deal with this himself? A small confidence boost? All of them knew that Red would never really hurt something  _ that  _ small now that things were apparently better for them all. Moving his gaze to Edge he motions to the couch, “CARE TO JOIN ME WHILE THEY… PLAY.”

Edge sighs a hand already pinching between his eye sockets. “MAYBE THE WHELP WILL LEARN SOMETHING… EITHER OF THEM.” He has to hold his tongue from responding to the slight as Edge sits beside him on the couch. “AM I TO ASSUME THAT THE… SKELETON IS WHAT BLUE WAS PESTERING ME ABOUT FOR PATTERNS?’

He feels the edge of a flush take over his skull more annoyed than anything that Blue was sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. He was doing just fine! Clearing his throat he ignores the tumbling going on in the other room—

(“Off ya fuckin’ runt didn’t yer boss teach you any fuckin’ manners— fuck! Don’t bite that ya little parasite!”

Another crash. Hopefully not Slim’s home or Red might actually lose a limb for a while.

“stop callin’ me a dog! Just cause you’re bigger doesn’ mean nothin’!” another crunch. Possible Red’s thumb. Again.

“Well ya fuckin’ Boneranian let go or’ll toss your boney ass—don’t fuckin’ crawl in there Razz what the fucks s’wrong with your—don’t bite that you little shit!” 

Ah, well at least Slim was holding his own from the sound of it).

“YOU WOULD BE CORRECT IN THAT ASSUMPTION, OF COURSE BLUE HAD NO RIGHT TO BUTT INTO MY AFFAIRS THE WAY HE DID.”

“YES, I AM VERY AWARE OF YOUR FEELINGS ON THE SUBJECT RAZZ… BLUE WAS VERY ENTHUSIASTIC OF YOUR,” He was a hand in the direction of their  ~~brothers~~ subordinates. “ADOPTION METHOD. BUT, I FIGURED THE ONLY WAY HE WOULD LEAVE EITHER OF US ALONE IS IF I DROPPED THEM OFF TO YOU.”

He huffs, magic swirling around him in agitation. If only Red would stop pestering the other skeleton so that Razz could rest him somewhere else. Away from the whelp. Far,  _ far  _ away. “KNOWING BLUE THAT WOULD BE AN ACCURATE ASSUMPTION… I WILL TAKE THIS… DONATION AND YOU WILL SPEAK NOTHING OF HIM UNTIL EVERYTHING IS READY.” It’s a threat they both know it but. 

Edge, as always, seems to take it with a grace that none of them have. Despite his nickname Razz knows there’s far more kindness and gentle slopes to him than any of the other universes know. Much with his brother. They’re both soft, scarred on the outside and brutal when called for, but ultimately still capable of gentleness and diplomacy when need be. “BUT OF COURSE. YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN. I’M CERTAIN THAT THE WHELP WOULD APPRECIATE A PLAYMATE.” It ends with a smirk but they both know what it’s really for.

Red was wrapped around Slim’s finger as soon as the much tinier skeleton lunged at him. The Big Idiot always did have a weakness for tiny shit that couldn’t really hurt him even if they tried.

He sniffs, tilting his head up as he side eyes the bulldog trouncing around with his second in command. “I WILL… CONSIDER IT DEPENDING ON SLIM’S STATE.”

Edge just huffs out a laugh placing his patterns down gently (ever so gently, as if they mean the world to him, and they probably do. The bull dog had gotten so drunk and spilt everything about how much those patterns meant and how  _ he’d blast any fucker tha even tried ta destory em _ ) and perhaps now Razz understands it. “DROP HIM WHELP IT’S TIME TO GO!”

He hears a thump and another muffled curse (no doubt, Red) before he’s following after his younger brother only pausing to give Razz a salacious grin, “Think ya should let the fuckin’ puppy out into tha world ya sad sack of shit—don’ fuckin’ kick me ya little terror!”

He lets his eyelight drift down to where Slim had gotten in one last kick, a tongue formed to blow a raspberry. He’d never been prouder.

“Keep that out too long and see where it gets ya shorty,” and a bone not from either of them, but from Edge. All of them (except possibly Slim) are well aware it's just for looks and no real damage would come from it.

“ENOUGH OF THE CHATTER SANS! IT IS TIME TO HEAD HOME BEFORE RAZZ LOSES HIS PATIENCE WITH YOUR… COMMENTS,” That’s being rather polite if they’re being honest, but it got Red away from Slim so really, everything worked out.

Even no thinking back on it Razz can’t help but laugh, he could only imagine Red’s face  _ after  _ he sees the new choker for Slim. What a joy that’ll be when the bulldog notices and for once keeps his unwanted comments to himself.

“SLIM, COME HERE,” He already hears the soft toddle of the smaller skeleton making his way out of his home and out in front of his magnificent self. “YOUR CHOKER CAME IN TODAY. ARE YOU STILL CERTAIN THAT YOU WANT THIS TO BE A COLLARING?”

He had explained the whole thing to Slim, the incatricies and what it would mean, how others might treat him with it. But the smaller skeleton had taken it in stride, seemingly unafraid of the potential duel mix of protection and target he’d be making of himself,  _ you’ll protect me just like you said you would and that’s enough for me. Cap’in ‘m not scared of ya, first thing i haven’t been in a long time _ and hadn’t that just torn and fixed his soul all in one?

So. Here they were Slim sitting still and nervous in front of him, Razz able to hear the quick flutter of Slim’s soul in his rib cage all the while. “‘m ready cap’in i know you wouldn’t hurt me. i trust ya you’re my captain! this way i can even help with patrols!”

Well. There goes his soul, twisted and full of pride at the absolute trust in his companions' voice. Razz would make certain that no human, and certainly  _ no monsters  _ touched his second in command unduly. They’d pay dearly for it.

“ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT,” He feels his skull heat from the anxiety of it all. Collaring is barbaric still, because in  _ his  _ universe it was a sign of control, of complete ownership, a way to break monsters and chain them to yourself against their will. But  _ this _ . This is trust. An example of a collaring from the long past when monsters weren’t fighting tooth and nail, a way to show that  _ this one is one of my people. They have my protection. They are precious.  _ It wasn’t sexual like most now, or even derogatory. It was a sign of trust and compassion and Razz well, he’d protect his charge with everything he had. “TELL ME IF IT’S TOO TIGHT,”

His phalanges shakes as he tries to keep them far enough away that he doesn't hurt the smaller skeleton (not a full soul, remember that Razz he’s fragile even in comparison to a whole monster) but still capable of fixing the clasp in place. By the throne Razz doesn’t want this trust to ever be given up in vain.

Slim’s bones shake and he moves his hands away as if he’s been burned frightened for the first time in a long while but then Slim is holding his fingers to his chest for once his coat foregone for something softer. His skirt and and a simple shirt, soul fluttering brightly ( _ warm, warm, warm, safe, safe, safe),  _ “‘s perfect captain! I, i can join on patrols now, right, i can help you an’ your queen keep fights from breaking out with humans?”

Oh stars, his charge is so excited. He gives a shaky smile, soul rattling where it rests thankful that he hadn’t somehow injured his companion. “OF COURSE, SLIM. HOW… HOW DOES TOMORROW SOUND?”

Before he knows it Slim is wrapped wholly around what parts of Razz’s hand that he can reach an overwhelming happiness wafting from his soul. Oh, this is what the  _ others  _ were talking about. This is what it’s like to be an older sibling. Stars he’s not ready.

* * *

It’d be fun, they said. Cathartic they said. Something to do so you  _ Could Get Used To The World Razz, You Don’t Have To Be Alone. _

...As much as he hated to admit it (and never,  _ ever  _ to their faces, it was) taking care of the… puppy, was cathartic in a way even for one as weary as he. Having a younger sibling— on who  _ chose him  _ and is trusting him is, well. Something Razz never dreamed of. 

His universe was Kill or Be Killed. You kept family close sure, but even they might turn on you at some point when the food got scarce or their LV got the best of them. But Slim. Slim is so small, so fragile even in comparison to one HP monsters. He has no  _ full  _ soul and isn't that a frightening thought?

He could dust any minute if someone wasn’t careful and Razz couldn’t even bring him to a doctor for even a chance of—

“Cap’in it’s almost time!” He blinks, his eyelight focusing on the blurry form of his younger brother dressed in a (dreadful) gyftmas sweater his choker even decorated with tiny resin bobbles Slim had created himself (and Razz; his own is a little bone spear). The smaller skeleton is moving more frantically now, hopping off his form and toward his own miniature tree that he insisted on decorating. “you have ta stay awake cap’in what if you miss when the gifts are dropped! No, i, i can catch the big man for ya if ya do, just leave it to me!”

He sounds excited and Razz is certain the tiny skeleton would actually try but… even from his place on the couch, dressed in his own pyjama he knows that Slim won’t make it through the whole night. Energy spent from decorating his tree and helping Razz with dinner for both tonight and the gyftmass party being held at the  _ original’s  _ house (he’s finally okay with all of them meeting his little brother) it’s been an exciting day for the tiny skeleton. And well. Razz isn;t going to stop him from tiring himself out; it would certainly make his job much easier later if his brother didn’t take his self imposed sentry job so seriously just this once.

“DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT SLIM, THE GREAT AND MALICIOUS SANS ALREADY HAS HIS PUZZLES CALIBRATED IN CASE THE BOTH OF US DO SLUMBER—” No that he will, but the look of awe Slim gives him is always worth the boast— “YOU SHAN’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE BIG MAN ABSCONDING WITH ANY GIFTS. I WILL TAKE CARE OF HIM, IF HE TRIES.”

He can’t help but puff out his ribcage when Slim claps, his eye sockets already getting heavy. With a careful phalange Razz leads him to the little home they made, careful to close it up with as little noise as possible even as Slim throws one of his rare fusses about wanting to  _ partake in your japes cap’in how else am i to prove myself to the queen?  _ And of course he reassures him. Tells Slim all about how helpful he’s been and that the big man would never get away under both their nose bridges.

And. Razz, well. He’s happy. This… distraction as he was supposed to be is much happier than Razz could’ve ever believed it to be, a brother of his own if a bit different from the other universes, but still Slim was his brother and this is the best gyftmas he’s had in a long while… hopefully the gifts he got for Slim will be even a smidgen as great as what the tiny skeleton has given him.

Perhaps this merging of the universes isn’t so bad after all.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Red: get yer fuckin dog bitch!
> 
> Slim: growls
> 
> Razz: it don’t bite 
> 
> Red: YES IT FUCKIN DO


End file.
